My Letter to Santa, 2020 Edition
Allow me to apologize for not writing to you since 2017. My lack of correspondence should in no way be interpreted as a lack of enthusiasm for considering my inclusion on your nice list, or, even worse, as a lack of belief in your existence.
I have been quite busy working with our retirement plan sponsors on the rewards you provided over the last three years, namely the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act and the SECURE Act. They are truly gifts that keep on giving! As an aside, I would like to thank you for your bipartisan work with Congress on getting these new laws passed, particularly your tireless efforts on the SECURE Act - the first piece of retirement plan legislation in over a decade! I should never have doubted you, and I apologize for that.
I trust that my work with our retirement plan sponsors will merit inclusion on your nice list this year. Given my lack of recent correspondence, I humbly request just one small item: I would really appreciate a nice, shiny SECURE Act 2.0! It is absolutely the hottest trending gift in 2020 for people like myself, due to all of its wonderful features, such as requiring fewer people to take required minimum distributions, auto-enrollment mandates, and even an age 60 catch-up election! It would look perfect under our tree this year and, as always, I am confident that you will deliver. If I can have the version that does NOT include the paper annual statement requirement, though, that would be great - as paper, in my world, is the equivalent of receiving coal in a stocking!
At any rate, I look forward to your visit next week! Annual chimney maintenance has been completed to your specifications, and your customary milk and cookies will be in its usual location. And finally, I have had a lengthy conversation with our cat - and you can be confident that he will not confuse you with a scratching post this year, as he knows it will jeopardize his future receipt of items from your unparalleled selection of cat toys (he also requests cardboard boxes with his usual gifts this year, if it isn’t too much trouble).
Michael A. Webb, CSS (Certified Santa Specialist)
P.S. Please extend my congratulations to Dr. Hermey the Elf on his retirement from the dental profession this year! I was a tremendous admirer of his pioneering work in the 60s, as I was very much a Misfit back in the day…
Note: This feature is to provide general information only, does not constitute legal advice, and cannot be used or substituted for legal or tax advice. Opinions expressed are those of the author, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Cammack Retirement Group.
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